Chapter 76: Chapter 76 “Zhao Xiyan, I’m leaving.
 

Qi Yue almost immediately decided to leave.

She didn’t go back to the gorge to ask Huang Zai’an who the helper was, or what his purpose was in doing this, she couldn’t afford to care anymore.

At that moment, the sounds of Zhao Xiyan practicing martial arts came from the backyard, the clacking of his crutches hitting the ground, as if they were striking her heart.

She said to Little Shanzi, “Go back and tell the old man that I need to take care of some matters, I’ll see him in three days.”

She didn’t tell Shen Yu about her leaving, nor did she intend to.

On the first day, she planted various vegetables in the front and back gardens: tomatoes, eggplants, green beans, and some melons.

The second day, she took a dozen rabbits from the space, built several large rabbit cages with Zhao Yonglian, and instructed a few young maids to look after them.

Rabbits breed quickly, and raising a herd meant they wouldn’t have to worry about meat even if they couldn’t hunt game.

On the third day, she called over those dozen strange cattle and tigers to feed them, and reminded them to come back around the house at night.

The dozens of animals, as if knowing she was leaving, all gathered around her, whimpering nonstop.

That evening, the family ate dinner as usual, chatted for a while, then went to their separate ways to sleep.

After Zhao Xiyan returned to his room, Qi Yue followed him in.

The room was lit by a dim pine oil lamp, making it hard to see everything clearly.

The wooden table, wooden chairs, wooden bed were all shrouded in shadows, except for the person standing in the room, who was full of life. He was using one hand to undo the ties of his outer garment.

Surprised by her entrance, Zhao Xiyan spoke up.

“Yueyue?”

“Mm.”

Qi Yue didn’t explain, but took a luminous pearl from her bosom and placed it on the table, reaching out to extinguish the pine oil lamp.

“Don’t light this lamp anymore, it’s prone to starting fires, and it’s not bright enough.”

Zhao Xiyan hesitated for a moment, suddenly feeling an indescribable sensation welling up inside him.

“Okay, I’ll listen to Yueyue.”

She didn’t respond to him as she usually did, nor did she smile at him. Instead, she walked straight up to him, standing right in front of him.

Instantly the distance between them became very close, so close that with an outstretched hand he could touch her cheek.

The fragrance from her body rushed into his nostrils and then permeated all his pores.

“I’ll help you.”

Qi Yue said, taking from his hand the half-undone sash he was holding and gently pulling it free.

Then, like all wives in the world, she tenderly and meticulously helped him out of his clothes and hung them in the usual spot where he kept them.

“Come, sit here.”

She guided him to the table, where there was a sheet of paper spread out with a dipped ink brush.

Zhao Xiyan didn’t know what Qi Yue was going to say to him. He only felt his heart pounding wildly, seized by an ineffable heat.

“Yueyue…”

He called her name but saw her pick up the brush and hand it to him.

“You write it. My handwriting isn’t nice, and if the supervisors can’t recognize it, it will be troublesome.”

“Write what?” He was startled. What needed the supervisors’ recognition?

“A divorce paper.” She smiled faintly, placing the brush in his hand, lowering her voice, “Don’t worry, I will leave a letter for mother tomorrow explaining the situation between us, she won’t blame you.”

“You’re leaving?”

The warmth on his body instantly turned to ice, and he heard his teeth chatter from the shivering.

“Mm.” Her tone was light as if speaking of someone else’s matters, “I know, when you married me, you had no choice; it was for luck’s sake. Now that you’re better and the family is safe, my purpose is fulfilled, and it’s time for me to go.”

His fingers, gripping the brush, cramped up like a spasm, tightening into a claw, and the sudden pain made him want to throw the brush away, but somehow, he gripped it even tighter.

“Where… will you go?”

“I haven’t decided yet, but I would like to travel around. Maybe someday I’ll settle down somewhere!”

She spoke cheerfully, her face showing long-anticipated yearning, her smile dancing at the corners of her eyes and brows, making his heart ache.

“Why are you doing this so suddenly, even if we divorce, you don’t necessarily have to go.”

At that moment, he finally started to come to his senses, recalling his desire to keep her there, even if as a brother, even if he would always be a cripple—he could still protect her.

“Zhao Xiyan, actually, I’ve always wanted to do something else, something I can’t do if I stay here.”

“What is it?”

She looked at him with a smile, and his heart pounded wildly.

He thought she would say that she was actually going to look for medicine for him… in which case he could still keep her by claiming that place was extremely dangerous.

“Do you remember the National Treasure Qian Faliang talked about?”

“…” His heart tugged violently, the pain allowing him to regain his senses in an instant, “You… you want to look for the National Treasure?”

“Yes,” she said seriously as she looked at him, “Zhao Xiyan, do you know where the National Treasure is?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

At that moment, Zhao Xiyan wished he knew, at least that way, he would have done something for her.

When his master gave him the book back then, he didn’t say anything.

And he, merely treating the book as a cherished gift from his master, had stored it away properly.

But after the Zhao Family was raided, that book was probably gone by now.

He recounted everything he knew to her mechanically, like a robot. After he finished, he felt almost like he was hollowed out.

Immense panic enveloped his heart, with countless voices roaring in his head, “She is leaving. She is leaving.”

“Alright, I happen to have some clues here, so I won’t trouble you. You go ahead and sleep after you finish writing, and I’ll go prepare some medicine.”

She suddenly straightened her body, ending the conversation, and walked to the door.

The room was clearly lit, but his world seemed to have plunged into endless darkness.

After the sound of the door opening and closing disappeared, he finally collapsed onto the desk.

“Yueyue… Yueyue…”

In the space, Qi Yue labeled the medicine pills she had prepared in advance.

For cuts, colds, heatstrokes, stomachaches, poisonings…, after she finished, she placed the items into a small cabinet and added a silver note worth a thousand taels before starting to write a letter to Shen Yu.

She didn’t return to her room to sleep that night but instead tossed and turned restlessly on the bed in the space.

Leaving was certain now, but the reluctance in her heart was also real.

After all, she had lived with the Zhao Family for so long, and they had shared life and death together; it was impossible not to have any feelings.

And as for Zhao Xiyan, she indeed felt a bit pained in her heart.

In both her lives, she had never cared so much about a man before.

Just now, in the room, she even had the impulse to embrace Zhao Xiyan. She wanted to ask him why he couldn’t see everything she had done for him.

But when she calmed down, she instead felt relieved she didn’t do that.

How foolish that would have been for her!

What if Zhao Xiyan said he only saw her as a sister, as a family member? How embarrassed would she have been!

Forget it, it’s better to leave some dignity for each other.

After all, feelings, as long as you don’t express them, will never be rejected.

Unable to fall asleep, she found several bottles of liquor in the fridge. Half an hour later, she cried herself into a childlike state.

The next morning, Qi Yue returned to the room and sure enough, there was a divorce paper on the table, which read:

Separation

The camaraderie of life and death differs from the past

By the dressing table

A smile wishes for my foolish devotion

Lady Red Bean

The clapping board is silent before the song ends, the voice hoarse

With a gold thread tied

I wish to die in the silk as the silkworms do

An indescribable melancholy rose in Qi Yue’s heart. She hurriedly went to the rear window, looking toward the place where Zhao Xiyan usually practiced martial arts.

Today, he wasn’t practicing. He sat in his wheelchair, his head slightly raised, as if gazing toward the infinite expanse of Longnan Ridge.

“Zhao Xiyan, I’m leaving.”

Qi Yue murmured to that clear and distant figure, tucked the divorce paper into her chest, and turned to leave.