Rebirth on the Door to the Civil Affairs Bureau
Chapter 49 The Grays of Life

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Xia Feng and Shao Yifan surprisingly had no scheduled surgeries today. So when they finished their rounds, they managed to have dinner in the cafeteria on time for once. When An An entered the canteen, she filled a tray with food, then approached the two figures sitting on a table by the window.

Shao Yifan had been busy drinking soup when he noticed An An sitting down across from Xia Feng, causing him to immediately spray out a mouthful of soup.

“Why are you so disgusting.” An An passed him some napkins.

Shao Yifan glanced at Xia Feng as he coughed. Seeing that Xia Feng wasn’t overtly shocked by An An’s arrival, he simply bowed his head and focused on his food, not taking the initiative to say hello.

Feeling that the atmosphere was getting awkward, Shao Yifan tried to find a topic to talk about: “Cough, right, An An, I remember that Dr. Lane is staying here for a month? Are you going back to America afterward, or are you staying?”

Dr.Lane was An An’s mentor in America. City Hospital recently invited Dr. Lane to come and teach, so An An followed him here as his student.

“I’m going back to America first, after all, I still have two months before I finish my studies.” While saying this, An An sneaked a peek at Xia Feng.

“What about after you graduate? Are you going back to your children’s hospital, or are you going to work here at City Hospital?” Shao Yifan asked.

“I was invited by both hospitals, but I’m still undecided.” An An saw still glancing at Xia Feng.

Xia Feng finished his food, put down his chopsticks, and took a napkin to wipe his mouth. Looking towards An An, he asked her: “An An, did you look for Yu Dong yesterday?”

Shao Yifan froze, his eyes turning to Xia Feng.

When An An passed the lipsticks to Yu Dong, she knew that Xia Feng would definitely find out. It seems that she troubled Yu Dong yesterday. An An felt smug at this, but her face remained neutral as she replied: “Yes, I was really embarrassed that I took the lipstick you bought for Yu Dong, so I brought it back with me from America. I happened to meet her yesterday in the pediatrics ward, so I took the chance and gave them back to her.”

“Thank you.” Xia Feng said.

“You’re welcome!”

“But our relationship’s now a little awkward, so if there’s anything else you think of in the future, you don’t need to bother sending it back.” Xia Feng said with a smile.

An An’s expression stiffened when she heard this, looking at Xia Feng incredulously.

Shao Yifan was also surprised by Xia Feng’s attitude. This gentleman rarely spoke to women so directly, let alone towards An An.

“How can I do that? Those lipsticks were expensive.” An An said.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s not like my salary’s low, I can comfortably shower Yu Dong with gifts.” After Xia Feng said this, he stood up, “I’m done eating, so I’ll go ahead first.”

Without waiting for a reply, Xia Feng walked out of the canteen.

Shao Yifan glanced towards An An, only to find her looking sullen, the chopsticks on her hand broken.

“I’m done too. You take your time and eat slowly.” Shao Yifan resolutely escaped, leaving An An to smack her broken chopsticks down in the table.

Shao Yifan managed to catch up to Xia Feng and was shocked as he asked: “What happened yesterday?”

Xia Feng pushed their office door open and replied: “Try to gossip less.”

“No, no, you have to tell me, that seriously scared me. You actually didn’t give someone face and it’s An An, and more importantly, you did it in front of me.” Shao Yifan said.

“So you’re not going to be smart and instead you’re putting yourself in the middle of things?” Xia Feng tilted his head, looking at Shao Yifan with a raised eyebrow.

“I…” Shao Yifan pointed to himself and exclaimed “It’s not my fault things ended up awkward! Who decided to be completely different from his usual personality and start something?”

“I know you’re good friends with An An, but we’re over. The one I like is Yu Dong. An An making trouble again won’t help anyone.” Xia Feng said, “I thought about it seriously last night, and I figured I should just make things clear as soon as possible.”

“…” Shao Yifan was dumbfounded.

“If you really want to help, you should try to persuade her to stop.” Xia Feng said as he picked up his stethoscope. “And do you really believe that she likes me that much?”

“Doesn’t she?” Shao Yifan countered.

“She’s just not comfortable with the face I gave up on her first.” After Xia Feng said this, he patted Shao Yifan on the shoulder then went out. In the end, when you have something to compare it too, it’s easy to clearly see just how much a person likes you.

Shao Yifan stood in the empty office for a while before swearing: “Those three farts, why do I try to help those goddam thankless people, I should just shut my mouth.”

Yu Dong naturally didn’t know that Xia Feng said these words to An An, and she was much too busy to care.

The dubbing work pushed aside slowly started. Coupled with Ren Xinxin’s hospitalization, Yu Dong and Xiang Xiaoyue were both working overtime. Added with the fact that they visited Xinxin every day, and the fact that Yu Dong also had to prepare for her nightly live broadcasts, they were both stretched thin these days.

In actual fact, last year’s profits from Xiaoyue Studios was pretty good. Xiaoyue was also generous, giving her two girlfriends bountiful salaries. Yu Dong could actually just quit her radio station job and work with Xiaoyue full-time, in face Xiaoyue mentioned this several times, but Yu Dong always refused.

Because she likes the job. Through the traveling sound waves, Yu Dong knew her voice would accompany many lonely people through the night.

“Hello everyone, this is FM9666. You’re now listening to Midnight Phantom after the advertisement, this is DJ Fish Jelly.” Yu Dong smiled as she talked because while the listeners might not see it, she knew they could hear it in her voice. “It’s time to open our hotline again, let’s answer out first call.”

After a beep, the phone connected.

“Hello, this is Fish Jelly.” Yu Dong said with a smile.

“Hello Fish, I’m Ms. Beautiful.” A soft female voice could be heard from the other end of the phone. It sounded very pleasing, and all the listeners could feel her gentleness towards the host.

“So what story does this Ms. Beautiful want to share with us tonight?” Fish Jelly asked.

“I…” The tender voice, after much hesitation, timidly asked: “Can you promise not to look down on me if I say?”

“Er..” Fish Jelly blinked doubtfully. Thinking that it shouldn’t be too bad, Fish Jelly continued, “Do you know those confession booths in Christian churches? You can think of me as your priest, tell me your story tonight and maybe your heart will feel lighter.

“Like in those American blockbusters?” Ms. Beautiful asked.

“Yes.”

Ms. Beautiful finally started to narrate her story.

“Actually…I’m…maybe I should just be called a mistress or a second wife.”

Fish Jelly froze at her words. She thought of a lot of possibilities, but never in her wildest dreams did she consider this scenario. As a woman, Fish Jelly hated mistresses, but she didn’t interrupt Ms. Beautiful’s narrative.

“I met my lover’s wife when I was out shopping. At that time, I was holding her husband’s card and was buying clothes. She didn’t know me but was very friendly. I saw a beautiful custom dress in the shop, but because my membership level wasn’t high enough, the clerk refused to sell the dress to me. She saw this and offered to let me borrow her membership card. I was a little embarrassed, but she was kind and smiled at me, saying that I was beautiful and that the dress would look good on me.”

Perhaps because the hardest thing to say was already said, Ms. Beautiful continued to talk more confidently: “I knew about her the day I became his mistress. I knew she existed, but I never felt guilty because I didn’t want to take her place. I was content to be a mistress nobody knew about.”

“Because of this, my lover is also satisfied and was very generous. But after that day, I don’t know why, I started to think about why I became a mistress in the first place.”

“I’m educated, beautiful and young. I can find a good job and support myself, but I ended up becoming a mistress.” Ms. Beauty lamented, “When I graduated from university, I got a job as a clerk with a salary of less than 3,000 yuan a month. People around me were living on a budget and I recall thinking about how much money I needed to buy a house. But the first time I met him, he directly gave me an apartment.”

“For something people needed to work 30 years for, I just needed to nod and I have it.” Ms. Beauty sighed, “So why don’t I just take this job I thought.”

“He gives me 100,000 yen a month and occasionally sends me expensive bags and cars. Maybe in two or three years, I’ll be disliked, but I already have enough savings that most people can only dream of.” Ms. Beauty continued, “By then, if I wanted to start a family, I could sell the house, go someplace no one knew me, find a man my age, fall in love, get married, and we would have a perfectly good life.”

“Some people say that being a mistress in shameful and immoral. I agreed with them in the beginning, I was embarrassed to go out. It took a long time for me to get over it, to talk about a relationship that will never amount to anything. I won’t destroy his family, his wife will never know and will remain happy.”

“I’m already planning on leaving him when I get the chance…” After this, Ms. Beautiful trailed into silence.

Fish Jelly ignored the scolding and swearing scrolling through her computer. After a moment of hesitation, she asked: “Then why call?”

“Actually…I don’t even know…maybe I just wanted someone to talk to.” Ms. Beautiful added, “You don’t have to comment, I’ll just hang up.”

“Did you ever have someone you really liked?” Fish Jelly asked.

“I…” Ms. Beautiful was silent for a while before she said: “I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone in the future. Having experienced something like this, I don’t think I’ll be able to like someone wholeheartedly. But, I think my lover likes me, and I think I like him too?”

“You called because you aren’t happy.” Yu Dong said, certain. “Because despite becoming rich, getting a car and house that ordinary people struggle for, you can never have their happiness. You feel lonely, empty because you don’t have the love of someone.”

“I can start looking for it now, I have the foundations.” Ms. Beatiful said.

“When you really start looking for it someday, all of this will turn into pain and suffering.” Fish Jelly said, “In the event that you don’t find that someone, you’ll be left with nothing but the pain.”

Beep….

Ms.Beautiful didn’t answer and directly hung up the phone. Fish Jelly didn’t say anything either- her computer had nothing but swear words.

Tonight’s phone call made Fish Jelly a little uncomfortable (which isn’t too bad when you look at her radio history so far). There wasn’t any law to convict her with, it was only a case of having different morals. Her monetary gains would probably impress young and immature listeners. Yu Dong felt an unprecedented distress and wanted to say something to remedy the situation, but she couldn’t find the right words to say.

“I don’t have the right to judge whether your actions are right or wrong. But I sympathize with you because you’ve already regarded yourself as some merchandise.”

This phone conversation really did make Yu Dong somewhat uncomfortable. She thought that the big bosses in Taiwan wouldn’t like the fact that she let such people finish their story on air.

Yu Dong couldn’t figure out why some people would sell themselves for money and treat themselves like random items for sale. When you one day make enough money and desire to return to an ordinary quiet life, could they really feel at ease?

Coming out of the bathroom, Xia Feng noticed that Yu Dong was still sitting on the bed, dazed. Lifting the blanket, he gathered her into his arms and said: “Don’t think about it anymore, go to sleep.”

“I just can’t figure it out. She said that when she earned enough money she would go to another city, find a suitable partner and live a happy life. Wouldn’t that be kind of mocking most ordinary, diligent workers?”

“Her perspective of things has already changed, she’s become pitiful.” Xia Feng said, “Even if she finds someone she really likes in the future, when she has a family and children, her previous experiences will follow her and cause her to be paranoid. If money can actually bring happiness, the wouldn’t be as depressing as it is.”

“My heart’s just a little uncomfortable.” Yu Dong said, looking up.

Xia Feng smiled and bent down to kiss Yu Dong’s rosy lips.

Yu Dong blinked.

“Is that better?” Xia Feng asked.

“A little bit.” Yu Dong said.

Xia Feng turned and placed Yu Dong directly underneath him. Gently, he opened her mouth with his own and gradually depriving Yu Dong of oxygen. The atmosphere turned ambiguous as a layer of fog clouded Yu Dong’s mind. She felt Xia Feng slowly slide a hand inside her pajamas, making her shy.

“Even better now?” Xia Feng bit Yu Dong’s earlobe.

“You lustful wolf.” Yu Dong complained.

“Ha ha…” Xia Feng’s hands had already unbuttoned her pajamas under the blanket, and the two inched closer. This primitive act of affection is also the most passionate expression of the soul.

Perhaps in today’s society, sex has become more and more open. But Yu Dong still feels that while it would bring joy in the surface, casual sex would never touch the soul.

It can be crude, and dirty, and obscene, but it can also be beautiful!